The Instant First-night Makeover :
Add a Few New Twists to the Standard Routine
1. Switch your usual steps.
For example, if you typically move from manual to oral stimulation and then to intercourse, mix it up. That alone will make the sex more interesting. And who says you can’t start with intercourse as long as she is lubricated? Or that you can’t stop intercourse before either reaches orgasm and play manually or orally instead? Even changing the angle from which you perform oral sex makes a difference. If he puts his head between her open legs, he should try coming in from the side instead. To fellate him, she can straddle him backward for a change. Couples who have been together a while perform their sexual routine as if a choreographer were exhorting them not to deviate from the pattern. Get over that! This is sex, not a chorus line.
2. Or change one external basic aspect of how you “do it.”
Turn the lights off if they’re normally on—and vice versa. Do it in the living room, the hower, the guest bed— anyplace but your bed. Add satin sheets. Keep your clothes on. Change something.
3. Or add a surprise adaptation to your signature sex move.
Technique Tips
THE KISS
Pull back from that deep French kiss, signaling your intentions. Use the tip of your ongue in circles just inside his/her lips. Tease those lips again and again with the circling tip of your tongue. Suck them gently one at a time. And, gentlemen, repeat the move on her clitoral lips. Use your tongue to .irt with his/her mouth. Insert tip of your tongue, pull quickly back out. In and out, in and out. Finally let your tongue play inside for a while. Pull back again. Kiss her breasts before you kiss her lips.
FELLATIO
Instead of doing the .ick around the head of his penis, .ick your tongue rapidly back and forth sideways along the ridge that separates the head of the penis from the shaft. Do “the Hoover,” that sucking maneuver you use on the head of his penis, on his testicles instead, one at a time.
CUNNILINGUS
Have her leave on a pair of wispy silk panties and lick through and around them. Use the end of your chin to perform some of those tongue movements.
THE INTERCOURSE MOVE
If the female-superior (woman on top) position is your move, vary it by “riding the bull,” with one hand in the air, one hand against your clitoris, and an exaggerated riding style—or by leaning forward and rubbing your breasts against his chest, nipple to nipple.
If the missionary (man on top) position is your signature move, vary it by bringing her knees to her chest and lifting up her buttocks with your hands. You will enter her at a thirty-degree angle—changing the way intercourse feels for both of you.
Nothing I’ve suggested in the instant makeover steps above is dif.cult. Yet each one of these small variations— and the many more that will occur to you or that you will .nd in other sections of this book—makes the sex feel new, different, exciting again. Less than 10 percent of the couples who followed my Sex Life Makeover plans came back and said, “Hey, the instant makeover didn’t do anything for us.” I will almost guarantee success if you each make at least one change in the way you typically make love tonight.
What Sex Life Makeover Participants Say
“He unbuttoned my shirt and kissed my breasts. As he helped me out of my clothes, he kissed his way down my body. All this before ever kissing my mouth. It was electric.” “We usually get undressed together in the bedroom and chat about the kids or schedules or the bills until we’re naked. Tonight I grabbed her and began groping her through her clothes. We fell on the bed and tore the clothes off one another. But she left her bra and high heels on. Wow.” “When she didn’t give me that little swirl at the end of every lick around the head of my penis, I wondered what she was going to do instead. She had my attention. When she massaged my perineum and sucked my balls, I thought my head would explode.”
The Sex Life Makeover Plan
These general directions apply to all the Sex Life Makeover Plans.
• The program works best if you do something erotic together every day or night for seven days. Maybe you don’t have the time or energy to make love on day two, for example, but you can give each other a brief massage or foot rub. Hold each other and kiss tenderly, deeply, while gazing into each other’s eyes before falling asleep. If you have the time to read your personal e-mail tonight, you have a few minutes for erotic or sensual contact with your sex partner.
• Do have “sex” (intercourse or manual/oral activity ending in orgasm) at least twice and preferably three or more times this week.
Here is your Sex Life Makeover plan to put the thrill back in sex:
1. Continue adapting your signature sex moves—and consider picking up a new one or two. Get more creative and playful as the week goes on.
FOREPLAY
Put your hand on his thigh when you’re sitting side by side on the sofa or in dining room chairs. Give him a minimassage using your .ngertips and thumb. Then squeeze his thigh, move your hand up a little higher, and repeat the minimassage. Say something nice to her, very softly into her ear. Then .ick the inside of her ear with the tip of your tongue. Follow that by taking her earlobe gently between your teeth.
MANUAL STIMULATION
hers: Put a new spin on the classic hand-job position—one hand .rmly at the base of the penis, the other (well lubricated) working the shaft up and down. Work that hand from the base up to the head in a circular, twisting motion, as if you were following a winding staircase up his penis. Then start at the bottom again. This staircase only goes one way: up.
his: Arouse her via manual stimulation by approaching her from behind in the “spooning” position. Put two lubricated .ngers in the shape of a V around her clitoris. Press gently and rock her pelvis against those .ngers.
Technique Tips
2. Energize your pelvic areas.
Practitioners of martial arts know how to focus energy. They can break boards, bricks, and blocks with their bare hands because they concentrate all the energy in their bodies
into the leading edge of their hand. You can move enough energy into your pelvic area to feel more sexually alive—simply by believing you can do it. Practice once a day if you can.
Close your eyes. Imagine a spot inside your body beneath your navel. That spot is called the “inner chi,” considered the energy center of the body. Now imagine that you are bringing all the energy in your body into this place. Focus on that energy. Feel it inside you, warm and glowing. The warmth radiates throughout your pelvic area, suffusing your genitals. Hold the energy in place for several minutes before allowing it to return to other places in your body. Your pelvic area feels tingling and alive—energized. Gain new .exibility in your pelvis by incorporating these erotic exercises into your daily life.
THE CAT
Get down on all fours. Inhale, becoming swaybacked, bringing your shoulders up and in and lifting your head. Now exhale, arching your upper back and tucking the pelvis in and under. Draw your diaphragm up and in and pull your anal muscles up and in. Bring your chin down
Technique Tips
toward your chest. Repeat nine times. Rest. Do another ten.
THE PELVIC ROCK (FOR HER)
Wearing sexy panties and bra, stand in front of a full-length mirror, your arms hanging loosely by your sides. Breathe deeply through your mouth, all the way down into your belly. Imagine you are breathing air into your pelvis and your vagina—and breathing it back out again. Start a forward-and-backward rocking movement with your pelvis. Keep your chest and back relaxed, not rigid; the rocking should be centered in your pelvis. Thrust forward as you inhale; let your pelvis rock back on the exhale. Rock back and forth for three to four minutes, until you feel sexy.
3. Share erotica.
X-rated videos and DVDs are useful sex aides. But try something new—the old-fashioned approach to mental arousal. Read erotica out loud to one another. Skip to the
juicy parts in racy novels. Or read the stories in this book. Pick the hot book of the moment—like 100 Strokes of the Brush or The Surrender—and read a few pages each night. If you’re creative, write a story together, a few paragraphs a night. You’ll both be thinking about sex more often than you were before.
4. Move outside your comfort zones.
What seems dirty, naughty, forbidden, even a little scary to you? Do it. Grab a quickie in a public place, like in the car in the back of a mall parking lot (just keep your clothes on) or a unisex bathroom stall. Try something you haven’t tried before like anal sex (see page 244) or spanking or couples vibrator play (page 44). Bring each other to orgasm via phone sex.
His and Her Kegels
Many sex guides, my published books included, give instructions for Kegel exercises to strengthen the PC muscles. Really, they are essential for men as well as women!
Kegels are the absolute bottom-line requirement for good sex. You will have stronger, more intense orgasms. Women will have better control of his penis during intercourse—
and can do some amazing tricks by squeezing and releasing the PC muscle around his shaft. If you aren’t already practicing these exercises, start now
.
Locate the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, part of the pelvic .oor in both sexes, by stopping and starting the .ow of urine. Then start with:
a short kegel squeeze. Contract the muscle twenty times at approximately one squeeze per second. Exhale gently as you tighten only the muscles around your genitals (which includes the anus), not the muscles in your buttocks. Don’t bear down when you release. Simply let go. Do two sets twice a day. Gradually build up to two sets of seventy-.ve per day.
Then add:
a long kegel squeeze. Hold the muscle contraction for a count of three. Relax between contractions. Work up to holding for ten seconds, relaxing for ten seconds. Again start with two sets of twenty each and build up to seventy-.ve. You will be doing three hundred repetitions a day of the combined short and long and be ready to add:
The push-out. After releasing the contraction, push down and out gently, as if you were having a bowel movement with your PC muscle. Repeat gently. No bearing down. Now create Kegel sequences that combine long and short repetitions with push-outs. After a month of daily repetitions of three hundred, you should have a well-developed PC muscle and can keep it that way by doing one hundred .fty sets several times a week. And consider erotic weight lifting. Weights designed to exercise the PC muscles are available in sex toy shops and catalogs. The most common varieties are smooth eggs in
varying sizes made of polished wood or smooth stone, and tiny barbells. Using your PCs, you pull the weights into the vagina and push them back out again. Follow the directions accompanying the weights.
Revenge Sex
He was cheating on her. Maybe he wasn’t seeing all or even any of these women in the flesh, but he was cheating on her just the same. How much time did he waste on this nonsense every day? Sitting alone in her office after the rest of the staff had left for the day, she felt like a private detective in a film noir. Amanda could not believe what she was reading in Brian’s saved e-mails. From a woman who signed herself “Dirty Girl”: Ram your big cock up my ass . . . I want to feel you hard inside my ass. . . . I want you to make me cry, big boy . . . make me whimper. And from another woman: Oh, yes, yes, shoot your come on my breasts. I’m
rubbing it into my aching nipples now . . . A few short months ago she would never have thought to spy on Brian by accessing his private e-mails. After two of her friends had caught their husbands masturbating to cyberporn and another discovered her live-in boyfriend was seeing a woman he’d met in a sex chat room, she was obsessed with the idea of checking up on Brian. Now she had the goods on him. Her cheeks were warm and her breathing was rapid and shallow. What was she going to do with this information? “They’re all sick fucks,” her friend Lanie said. “I’d leave mine, but where would I find one any healthier?” Where indeed?
She jumped at the rapping on her glass door, looked up, and was startled to see Jay, a coworker. “Hey,” she said, closing her laptop. “I thought you went home.” “Went out for a drink and came back.” He cast a shrewd glance from her face to the laptop. “Problems?” he asked.
*
She felt her throat closing up, and before the tears came she asked huskily, “Want to go back out for another drink?” Walking to the bar, he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. She could smell his scent, sandalwood and something else, maybe musk, and feel the strong muscles in his arms. They’d been attracted to each other since he came to the firm a little over a year ago. “Tell me about it,” he said as soon as they were settled into opposite sides of a dark corner booth. She kicked off her high heels, then ran the side of her foot up and down his calf on the outside of his leg. “Feels nice,” he said, reaching across the table to take her hand. “I think my husband is cheating on me,” she said, running her foot up and down the inside of his leg now. She watched his eyes cloud over with desire. “I was reading his e-mails when you knocked on my door.” She rested her feet in his lap, her toes curved over the bulge in his pants. “Electronic spying,” he said, his eyes laughing at her. The waitress set their glasses of wine down in front of them. He lifted his in salute to her. “Resourceful. So what are you going to do about it?” “I don’t know,” she said. With her toes, she massaged his erection. He put his hand in his lap, caressed her toes, pulled his zipper down. She wrapped her feet around his erection. His penis felt silky through her stockings.
“I want to suck you,” she said. She saw his eyes widen in surprise as she ducked down under the table. His penis, large and throbbing, bobbed in front of her, its lovely pale head glistening. She clasped it in both hands and guided it into her mouth. He put his hand on the back of her head. She imagined some woman taking Brian’s penis into her mouth the way she was taking Jay’s—and the thought excited her wildly. Swirling her tongue around the head, she felt her power. She imagined his face, struggling to remain composed, as she sucked him into her mouth, flicked her tongue across his frenulum, and tickled his perineum with her nails. He was so big and alive in her mouth, but she was in charge of him. When she felt him near ejaculation, she was thrilled. The hot semen gushed down the back of her throat. When she came up from under the table, she was damp with sweat. Her lipstick, she knew, was smeared, and probably her mascara too. She didn’t care.
“I feel like a real woman,” she said, taking a gulp of wine. “Oh, God,” he whispered. His eyes had the glazed expression of a man who is happily spent. “You’re a real woman, all right. That was amazing.” “We’ll do it again,” she promised, though she wasn’t at all sure that they would. He held her hand, stroking it, as he told her how wonderful she was and how much he wanted to fuck her. After the second glass of wine, she was ready to go home. Brian was waiting for her. “Where have you been?” he asked, clearly annoyed. “I’ve left three messages on your cell. Didn’t you check your messages? Were you working late?” “No,” she said, standing in front of him, legs apart, hands on hips. She hadn’t bothered to comb her hair or repair her makeup, and she looked, she knew, like a woman who had been playing around. “I went out for a drink.” “With whom?” he asked, taking in her appearance now. A flush spread over his face. “What’s going on?” “I want you to fuck me in the ass, big boy,” she said. “I want you to ram that big, hard dick in me and make me whimper.” “Amanda, what’s going on with you?” he demanded. “I said,” she repeated more primly this time, “I want it now. Anal sex.” She unzipped her black skirt. It fell to the floor, and she stepped out of it. She was wearing lace-topped thigh-highs in sheer black—she never wore panty hose—and black lace boy-cut briefs. Her cream-colored cashmere sweater clung to her heaving breasts. “Now,” she said. He followed her into the bedroom. She pulled off the sweater and panties, then got into the rear-entry position with her breasts pressed flat against the bed, ass raised. Her legs trembled slightly. She heard him take the lubricant and a condom from his nightstand drawer. They didn’t do this very often. It always hurt in the beginning. Sometimes she really got into it, but she had to get past the pain first. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice shaky. “Fuck me,” she said, her breath already jagged. “Do it!” She heard his pants hit the floor, felt the cool, wet slickness of the lubricant as he worked it into her anus with one, then two fingers. Relax, she told herself. Relax those sphincter muscles. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She felt erotic dread and longing deep in her belly. Eyes closed, she heard him open the condom package. And then he was behind her, his hands on her ass, parting her cheeks, the head of his sheathed penis probing. She pushed hard against him, gasping as he penetrated her asshole.
“Fuck me,” she repeated before he could ask, Did I hurt you? Should I go slowly? “Fuck me,” she gasped as he thrust into her, hard and deep, searing her. “Yes,” she whimpered, “yes.” She kept her eyes shut hard against tears. He held on to her ass, pushing hard into her, pulling back so far that he was almost out, driving in again. She moved with him, through the pain, into a place she’d never been before, where the pleasure could be so intense only because there had been pain. They sounded like animals, gasping, heaving, panting in torment. She held one hand to her clitoris and pressed against it in time with his strokes. He claimed her, possessed her totally now. She felt the orgasm beginning deep inside her and bursting throughout her whole body. And she was still coming in waves when he came deep inside her.
